5 Reasons why I’ve realised that I need to be MORE than a conservationist

For most of my life, I tried to curate a world where I existed as what I perceived to be, a valid conservationist. I grew up thinking that I was either too young, JUST a volunteer, or that my jobs were TOO inconsistent for my efforts to actually count. For most of my life, I have been doing everything in my power to embody what I thought it meant to be a real conservationist- which unfortunately eventuated in a lot of exploitation, toxic workplaces and burn-out.

Of course, let me be clear, since creating Lonely Conservationists, I have come to believe that anyone can be a conservationist in the capacity that serves them best, whether it be shopping second-hand, educating their children about our natural world, or taking 10c cans and bottles to a recycling point. But I know that for a long time, I was not so gracious on myself to believe that any one of these tasks could be enough, and I know that still, many career conservationists put endless pressure on themselves to be their vision of the one true “perfect” conservationist.

The other day I was marvelling at how much of my life has been shaped by my conservation values, from the second-hand clothes on my body to the vegetables that have been rescued from landfill in my fridge. The reusable cloths at my sink, refillable containers in my laundry and bathroom, the four ways I sort my rubbish, and the practical styles that I keep my hair in, all exist because of the way that my passion for conservation has shaped nearly all facets of my life. Even my hobbies and the ways I unwind, bird watching and reading about nature, were related to conservation. I was starting to wonder if any facet of my being existed outside of this conservationist persona.

On reflection, I found it pretty bizarre that I had spent my life crafting myself into a single mould, a conservationist archetype. However, I know that like myself, so many other conservationists have their worth tied up in their identity, volunteering, working, learning and teaching. For some reason unbeknownst to me, this identity-chasing turned from being essential for most of my life to feeling totally abhorrent somewhere in 2023.

I think the caveat for me changing my perspective was having to do a company-wide bin audit of the staff bins across my workplace. My work is a place for all people to congregate, not just sustainably-minded individuals, and it really took me by surprise to see just how little people were sorting their rubbish. Recycling bins have been around for absolutely AGES now, and the notion that I had spent my life crafting myself into this optimal conservationist while so many people out there are okay with putting banana peels in the recycling bin, really made me start to reflect on the world.

To be honest, after that audit, it felt a bit gross to have moulded myself into a eusocial forager bee in a hive, built for nothing outside of my intended purpose. With this realisation, came an acknowledgement that people without sustainable behaviours could rest on their laurels whilst we conservationists did all of the work for them in bettering our natural world. Is this how the forager bees felt? Everyone else is chilling in the hive while the foragers are out pollinating all the flowers and collecting all the food. They aren’t really noticeable by the hive day-to-day, but if they stopped what they were doing, whole ecosystems and human supermarkets would collapse. If we do make a difference with all of our sacrifices and effort, everyone gets to experience clean air, flourishing forests and healthy oceans- these will not be rewards reserved for us, just as the food and fruits of pollination are not reserved for forager bees.

Since feeling like a forager bee, as you do, I have been thinking a lot about what it would mean for me to break this mould and become MORE than a conservationist. I mean, I was not born with a body that is fit for just one purpose- despite what young Jessie may have thought. I started to approach this concept like an improvisation, yes, and… I will have the conservation-based aspects of my life and see what I can add to them to craft myself into a more well-rounded individual. I have been experimenting a bit with what this looks like, and honestly, my life has only improved.

So here are 5 reasons why I’ve realised that I need to be MORE than a conservationist:

1. Sharing is caring

I honestly believe that the world would be a better place if everyone was a bit of a conservationist instead of the prevalence of people who do nothing sustainable and people who base their entire lives around conservation. I started to realise that the more I embodied a purist conservationist, the more my behaviour could be attributed to an unattainable conservationist lifestyle rather than me just living my life, doing things that everyone could do.

In fact, there are motivations for many people to get into sustainable habits. It’s cheaper for me to receive big boxes of delicious imperfect produce, rather than shop for perfect produce in the supermarket, especially in this cost of living crisis. Learning to make clothes or upcycling items from op shops is fun, and I can feel a sense of pride when I get to show off something that I’ve made myself. Spending time in nature is something that helps my mental health, with friends or by myself. Also, everyone knows that inevitably, every 30-year-old will eventually find themselves wondering what bird that is, so you may as well give yourself a head start.

Basically, being a conservationist could come about from money saving, getting into arts and crafts or just stepping outside and noticing what’s around you. It’s easy enough for everyone to do if given the opportunity, education and support, so we should all be conservationists no matter what road our careers or hobbies lead us down.

2. Mental health

Last year I experienced a bout of eco-grief that really put me into a state of depression for a few months. I think it was the combination of reading a book about how plastic exists on the deep ocean floor combined with the surprisingly insightful bin audits at work. It doesn’t help that my day job is to educate others on basic sustainable behaviours when they already have convenience. Who can compete with that?!

Because every book that I read to unwind was a non-fiction book about some facet of wildlife ecology or evolutionary biology, I started to fear the last chapter of books. Inevitably, there would be a concluding chapter on how none of this amazing wildlife or none of these habitats or ecosystems will exist in the future unless we get our act together. I get it, I get why that chapter needs to exist, and yes, I also understand that normal people don’t read 30 books a year on wildlife biology. Regardless, in whatever way you experience this repetition of bad news about our natural world, whether it be on social media, journal articles or news articles, it takes an emotional toll to sit with experiencing this grief for species after species and habitat after habitat.

There was a large part of me that believed that if I stopped subjecting myself to this information, I’d become someone who was switched off to the problems of our world and end up like all of the people who didn’t know or didn’t care enough. When you are deep in eco-grief, it feels imperative that everyone should know how badly we have inflicted damage onto our natural world. To not be consumed by that grief feels problematic.

The truth of the matter is that I couldn’t do anything productive when I was grief-stricken, so after some therapy and a switch to fiction books, I have now got the zest and motivation to work on my own projects again, like this blog!

So whether it be unfollowing social media accounts that talk about doom and gloom, sleeping in instead of going to that early morning volunteering gig, or no longer seeing people who have conversations that don’t serve you, you must do whatever you need to do to keep your mind healthy. You are not less of a conservationist because you aren’t totally consumed by the devastation, in fact, you are a better conservationist because you have been able to practice sustainability on yourself first.

3. Those damn billionaires

Honestly, why are we regular conservation folk beating ourselves up about what we buy, consume, and do, when there are billionaires who produce more CO2 in a year than we ever will in our entire lifetimes? It’s beneficial for these individuals and corporations to keep producing, consuming and flying in their private jets, while a few people stand in as tribute and spend their whole lives busting their asses to undo their damage.

It now feels gross for me to dedicate my life to undoing the damage that these people have caused, and in my opinion, as is all of this blog, we need to be holding powerful people to higher social standards. It may seem like a losing battle to stand up against powerful people, but there is power in numbers and there are more of us than there is of them.

Ultimately, we should never feel guilty about not recycling enough, consuming too much or doing unsustainable behaviours out of convenience sometimes, as long as multi-millionaires and billionaires are out there causing more damage than we could ever dream of doing. Just remember how easy it is for brands to use you as a scapegoat and tell you to recycle their waste when they could take the onus off of you and just stop producing in the first place.

4- Having a life is being more resilient

Last year I experimented with spending time on hobbies that had nothing to do with conservation. I started a woodworking class, bought some power tools and made some bespoke items. As mentioned above, I got into fiction novels and started reading about people and scenarios that don’t exist. I dabbled in painting and digital art, and sewing, weaving and swimming regularly. In a way, I was testing the waters to see if the world would spontaneously combust if I strayed too far from my life’s purpose, and needless to say, it didn’t!

What these skills and hobbies did give me though is resilience. Flexing different muscles and dabbling in new ways of thinking gave me an outlet to explore and a space to move my body and mind in a low-stakes environment. These habits will be great to come back to when needing to avoid burnout, but also to stay resilient in the face of future climate shocks. 

What have hobbies and exercise got to do with facing climate shocks you may ask? The fitter and healthier and more skilled you are, the more resilient you will be to adapting to a changing world. I definitely underestimated the power of play and exploration in building resilience in myself, but it has become such an important part of my life. All of this to say, you don’t need to have fun for any reason, not even resiliency. You should just do it because it makes you feel good.

5- You and I, we have intrinsic worth

Did you know that you don’t need to be a conservationist to matter? This fact can seem fake or earth-shattering, but either way, it needs to be internalised. You have intrinsic worth, no matter what you decide to do with your life. In the same way that you believe gorillas and dugongs and stingrays have intrinsic worth, you were born with that same worthiness of a good life. You matter as you are, simple as that.

Care homework

Do something totally unrelated to conservation and have fun with it. Maybe it’s playing dress-ups, maybe it’s sticking a tail on a donkey at a 5-year-old’s birthday party, or maybe it’s pressing flowers to make a collage. Whatever you decide to do, practice doing it without guilt and embrace that these acts of fun are an important personal resilience tool.